Can "love” happen only between people with similar skin color, similar physical appearances or the same religion? Can two people share love only if they are from the same origin? What causes "hate" among human beings? What can fuel love? What kind of fertilizers are needed to grow love all over the world? We need to ask ourselves these questions.
Moe Kalaya Aye and Miguel Galaviz have been married for 18 years and understand that momentum is what is needed to spread love. They live in Fontana, San Bernardino County. This couple from different races and religions are counting down for their 19th anniversary with
their four children in May 2023. "Love is the only medium to negotiate bumps and obstacles between us and make things smooth," Moe said.
Moe was born in Burma and migrated to the US in 1991 when she was 16. She is a very religious Buddhist woman like her parents. She has been living in California since her arrival to the US. Miguel has been in the US longer. He was born in Guadalajara, Mexico. They worked together in Hometown Buffet and met there. Moe was a single mother with a seven-year old daughter and a two-year old son at that time.
"When we got married, Miguel gave rides to the kids to and from the school every day. He is so kind to them. My younger son was potty-trained by him. He thought Miguel was his biological father until he was seven." Moe said about their early days of marriage.
Moe's ex-husband is a Burmese immigrant and a Buddhist. When Moe decided to marry Miguel, her parents were worried about their different cultures and religions. Burmese tradition requires the groom’s parents to ask permission from the bride's parents before the marriage. Miguel has no family members in the US but he followed Burmese culture. Instead of his parents, he, himself, met Moe's parents and did it well. It made Moe's parents sympathize and he was so impressed.
"Both of my parents said he is so nice and smart," Moe recalled.
The Galaviz couple had two kids later. The older daughter is now fifteen and the younger son is thirteen. The four siblings love and take care of each other. Moe's second child who is now a 21-year-old boy used to be a chaperone for his 15 year-old half-sister when she was hanging out with her friends.
To solve challenges and problems, the Galaviz couple said that they use two key factors. The first is "communication". Nothing should be hidden from each other. We let each other know what the problem is. We can't overcome any kind of challenges in the family unless we communicate.
The second is "Mutual respect." Moe and Miguel believe “equity” strengthens the bonds between their four kids. "No kid in the family is superior or inferior from the other, no matter if they are biological sons or daughters, or older or younger. We love and care for every kid equally,” said Moe. “Equity is the strong foundation to build love in the family," she added to explain their beliefs.
In a marriage it is important for the couple to support each other. "Stress is everywhere for everybody. Different kinds of stress are at work. We make sure to not add more stress on each other. We try our best
to be an oasis to each other and to knock down the stress we experience from others. We avoid expecting too much from each other. Expectations can lead to stress unless it happens in reality. Hate can be fertilized by this kind of stress," Moe said.
As the family grew in size, Moe became a loan officer and Miguel a realtor. The Galaviz couple believe that education is one of the important things needed to help to stop hate. "When a person is educated, his thinking ability grows, and with more knowledge it is easier to counteract misinformation and bias. We also teach our kids about the terrible consequences of alcohol and drug abuse." The Galaviz couple shared some of their parenting ways. Their 28-year-old daughter is now studying in Fullerton University to become a Physician Assistant and the 21-year-old son is studying to become an X-ray technician.
When Moe attends religious celebrations in Buddhist Monasteries, Miguel is usually with her and he is warmly welcomed by the Burmese community. Moe is willing to praise the Lord at Christian religious events with Miguel too. Miguel agreed to go with Moe to a Buddhist retreat camp for a week when Moe requested it.
The Galaviz couple teach their kids to stay away from hate. "Hate is just like a highly contagious virus. I always remind my two elder kids not to have negative thoughts about their biological father who is now living in Burma. I used to tell them good things about him and avoid myself from anger and sadness at that time" Moe said. The family visited Burma in 2019 and Moe took her two kids to meet their biological father. Miguel enjoyed the trip and loved the beautiful scenery and Burmese ancient temples.
Interracial hate crimes have increased all over the country since the pandemic hit the US. "It is totally nonsense to blame and attack the entire race for the unknown source of the problem. Hate crimes can't solve any problem and it even makes things worse and complicated," Moe said.
"One more thing I would like to say is never let hate spread to you by negative vibes from social media. Practically, hate doesn't care about time and distance. It spreads from thousands of miles to us within a second. Moe explained her thoughts with her own experience. There was a military coup in Burma on 1st February, 2021. People who peacefully protested were brutally killed and tortured by the authorities. Moe's 67 year-old mother was heartbroken when she saw live videos, photos and read comments on Facebook. She couldn't eat and sleep well. She used to start her days with tears. She became weaker and expired two months later.
"Life is short. We don't have much time to enjoy love and peace. Love yourself and then spread it to others. Get started today", Miguel added.
မုန်းတီးရန်လိုမှုများနဲ့ နောက်ထပ်ဖြစ်ပေါ်လာတဲ့ရန်လိုမှုများကိုရပ်တန့်ဖို့အတွက်အစီအစဉ်များထဲကEthnic Media Services ရဲ့ ပထမတင်ဆက်မှုဖြစ်တဲ့ မတူကွဲပြားတဲ့လူနှစ်ယောက်ရဲ့အိမ်ထောင်ရေးနဲ့မိသားစုများအကြောင်းကို မြန်မာ့ဂဇက်က Spanish အမျိုးသားနဲ့မြန်မာအမျိုးသမီးတို့ရဲ့ ပျော်ရွှ့င်တဲ့မိသားစုဘဝခရီးဆောင်းပါးကို ဖော်ပြလိုက်ပါတယ်။ အခြားအိမ်ထောင်စုများအကြောင်းကိုလည်း https://ethnicmediaservices.org/mixed-race/
February 2, 2023 at 1:11 pm
မြန်မာဂဇက် DEcember 2022 ထုတ်တွင်ဖေါ်ပြပြီးဖြစ်ပါသည်။